picbod# catch-up; The clothed Body

There is definitely a lesson in this project that i have learned that i did not expect to and that is to use caution when choosing subjects close to you over long periods. When i first set out on this project i was planning on a simple but striking overview of the relationship i share with my partner and how we interact. I figured i'd take lots of photo's of my normal everyday life and base the narrative around my own life, as a visual diary of a few weeks. but that has simply not happened.

I did not know it at the time, but my partner had a few issues she needed to work through and in turn, that we needed to work through. This coupled with a fairly serious bout of S.A.D meant that a lot of my motivation and stability left me for a good two months. During this time i continued shooting my partner, taking pictures when i felt it was appropriate or when we'd been close enough to attempt it and what im left with are some images i struggle to look at. They are probably just some crappy, piss poorly framed portraits to you, but to me i can see the anguish in her face and remember them as a very negative time. Its taken a long time for me to try to post product these, i think the last photo i took for this project that i was happy with was back in week 2 and contained her next to the window in here flat (5? posts back). These may not be the best photo's in the world and they definitely wont be winning any competitions, but the photo's bellow mean a lot to me. More now because i believe we have started to overcome our problems. They are a yardstick in my life and mark the lowest point in a good 5 years, they remind me how much things have got better already.

I'm also becoming overly obsessed with narrative. maybe im trying to do too much with these images. I want them to be awesome alone. I want them to stand out as being quality photography and i want people to understand why i took them. I want people to feel like they know the person in the image or can at least relate to what they make me feel like looking at them. But i fear there just flat staple images. I'll whack more on my flickr if people want to look further into them.

picbod# catch-up; Building the frame

Whilst still in exile i continued to try and work through my motivational black hole and tried to find some inspiration.

When i become lost of directionless i try to take a few steps back and have a go at something i wouldn't usually consider. A few weeks beforehand we as a group had visited painter Paul Wrights studio and done some work on illustrating and drawing. I had a look through his work as i quite like his style and decided that his work would be my start point. I knew pretty much straight away that this was a dead lead. It would be something to help pass the time and keep my sketchbook ticking over but would have very little bearing on my final piece.

I found a few portraits that Paul had talked about in depth in a talk last year where he multiplied himself in his portraits. He explained that he was trying to form a triangle in the portrait to the left and that he had become increasingly interested with how people viewed his work and how the work viewed them. This is why the Paul on the right is looking directly at you and something struck me about it. It made me honest in a way, the gaze had caught me and i felt i was dragged into it a bit.
I decided i'd have a go at the double portrait idea myself and began by shooting myself in around 30 different poses slouched over the couch in my living room. I tried to build a picture from the various poses of me and at the time i was not really fussed about my scruffy appearance or that the camera maybe a stop out of slightly out of focus. I didn't really care about the lighting either, all that was important to me at the time was that i was continuing to take pictures. (The cat was just good timing, not planned)

pic: 1
pic: 2
pic: 3
contact sheet (mini)


Here's what I came up with, it was a fun exercise but i'm aware nothing more will ever come of it. I've included one page of the contact sheet to give you an idea of the poses i was going for and so you can fill in the blanks so to speak. Would be interesting to see what Paul thought about it, maybe i'll get the chance to ask him one day.

During this week and any week i feel lost my reading focused on people such as William Eggleston and around Gus Van Saint and Zach Braff films. Im consuming literature and movies at an alarming rate at the moment, however its all pretty scatter bombed until i finally decide on a direction to push this project forward.

Chronological catch up part 1: picbod - nude V's naked

I've been incredibly slack at posting online recently my progress for the picturing the body module. I could go on about the reasons but lets just summarise that my attentions were distracted by some personal issues and a loss of direction on the project itself, but this is where i'm at divided into weeks of work.


Nude Vs Naked.

The images i shot for nude V's naked polarised our group and knocked me on my arse in terms of constructive critique. The images shot for it i don't wish to put up on this blog again, i put them up briefly on the lead-up to that week, however after that session i pulled them down. They were very loosely based around exploring the more erotic side of the model's personality and were more driven by her than me. It was something she requested and i was happy to oblige however it was also to see how far i was capable of pushing sexually charged nudity without feeling too uncomfortable.
This was actually a really important step in my development as a lot of my favourite photographers deal with nudity and sexually charged images relating to their private lives. Part of the criticism i received was the shots were very staged which they were, however that was the whole idea. These were confidence building exercises, for both myself as a photographer shooting someone close to me and for my model. Who is also someone i share a close relationship with. After taking the photo's i felt more confident in essentially showing a bit of flesh, in a more natural environment because i'd now done it in a very staged way. I'd stripped the emotion from the images and turned it into a quite technical exercise and the model received the confidence required to be a large part of this project and the main focus of my lens for the next few weeks as i intended to explore our relationship, or at the very least capture her spirit as my final submissions.
What ended up happening is i lost a lot of confidence as i showed them to people which may have been a bad idea. Im a found believer in group critique but i also believe that sometimes it really damages the cause of the work. This is definitely one of those cases. Because of that reception 4 weeks on no one has seen any of the images taken that followed it and i completely lost focus in the work. I felt i needed to play safe, i had to subscribe to other people's theory's rather than push forward and develop my own. Its take 4 weeks to pluck up the courage to just even write the above.

I did continue to work through the blank spot. 4 weeks of random attempts and lost scribblings. Over the next few updates i'll show you where i've got to.

Online Communities

(From the comic strip xkcd)

Its odd to think of the internet as landmass to be conquered. Even more so as the land would have to constantly be expanding. meaning unless your superman and can fly around the internet at supersonic speeds and digest words easier than crackers, you arnt going to be reading everything out there. The map above actually looks quite dated these days, Myspace is populated solely by bands and facebook has conquered at the very least 50% of its land mass but it still is interesting to put everything into perspective, a planet where the first language is lolspeak and the dominant population is lolcats

I spend maybe 5-10 hours a day online. Im part of numerous social networking, gaming and forum orientated communities and i still feel im always two steps behind. RSS feeds can only feed me so much, i can only read so much... yet there is far more out there for me to find. The modern never ending struggle. 

The Power of the network

http://tutorsite.wordpress.com/2010/02/08/networks/




Today, we received a great lecture into the science of networks. Their application and there uses were explained fully and my corrupt brain just constantly made me think of all the bad things. Maybe its because i watch a series called Battlestar Galactica. In the said series, networks are used to disable all defences of an entire race through the spread of logic bombs and virus's. Now, whilst were a long way away (sadly) from interstellar travel and combat i do think that there are many downsides to the network that we really need to address. 

Networks are more and more being used to spy/ 'hac'/exploit the common man for numerous purposes. Take spyware as a very innocent example. Spyware in the most cases is designed to follow you as you explore the wonders of the world wide web. It'll look to see where you go most and build up a profile on you, it'll become your secret friend and then suggest targeted products and adverts that will most appeal to you. Facebook, the social networking site is the worst for this, i log in now to exclusively photography and live music based adverts.
With the right software, these can of course be nuked back to the dark ages of dial up and far away from your hard drive, but you are fighting a loosing battle to think you are always spyware free.
The main problem with networks though i find, is with social networks. Its turned everyone and their mom into a part time spy turned voyeur. I dont get the need to update every bowel movement i have but the amount of information shared over networks now is beyond silly. In the united kingdom we kick up and laugh every time someone looses some important data on a train but then go home and tell anyone who care's to listen or hack into any accounts our darkest and inner most secrets. Perhaps im old school, from a different generation where sudo-names were recommended and every application form was filled in with the address of the geeky kid from science class but im not comfortable in giving anything away freely without a suitable return. 

Is virtual, Digital?

This to me is a slightly alien concept. Is virtual digital? And what is the difference between the two?

Virtual; 1. Existing or resulting in essence or effect though not in actual fact, form, or name: the virtual extinction of the buffalo.

2. Existing in the mind, especially as a product of the imagination. Used in literary criticism of a text.

3. Computer Science Created, simulated, or carried on by means of a computer or computer network: virtual conversations in a chatroom.

digital; 1.

a. Relating to, or resembling a digit, especially a finger.

b. Operated or done with the fingers: a digital switch.

c. Having digits.

2. Expressed in discrete numerical form, especially for use by a computer or other electronic device: digital information.

3. Electronics

a. Relating to or being a device that can generate, record, process, receive, transmit, or display information that is represented in discrete numerical form.

b. Relating to or being a service that provides information expressed in discrete numerical form: We subscribe to digital cable.

4. Relating to or being a profession or activity that is performed using digital devices: a digital librarian; digital photography.

5. Using or giving a reading in digits: a digital clock.

6. Characterized by widespread use of computers: living in the digital age.

n.

We live in the digital age where i feel that through the medium of virtual we are pushing the boundaries of possible. Does that make sense to you? ill explain in wall-o-text format just in case.

'We live in a digital age'

Previous 'ages' of man have been easier to understand because of the more linear title we gave them. The age of steam for example was the advent of combustion engines to power machinery that aided humans in their tasks, be it a train or a textile mill. In the digital age, the enhancement to our lives is that of the way in which we exchange information and the tools which we use to do it. The digital age has spawned such great inventions such as file sharing, the ipod and (begrudgingly....) windows operating systems.

'Through the medium of virtual'

And not because the medium of dance was too energetic. Leonardo Da Vinci many many years ago sat down and through the power of his imagination, sketched his idea's for a flying machine. However if he was alive today, im fairly sure he'd be using computer aided design to 'realise' his dream of the first intergalactic passenger transportation ship or moon colony. Virtual puts a bit of flesh and bone to our imagination. It takes the improbable and then tries to say we can do it now. Virtual worlds, or images or people are now all over the place. It is our way of seeing the world or the future, but may not have any bearing on the true fact of its counter and 'nemesis'... real life.

Hopefully that explains my take on this. Virtual is not digital. Its a delivery method to advancement through imagination. But we can still learn f rom it and it can be manipulated to tell important and thought provoking stories. See the video below.

Branding, Sudo names and Alias.

Now I'm increasing my exposure digitally through the projects ran by Jonathan Worth and my own attempts to get noticed I find myself looking to build my own identity. It's an important issue to be tackled rapidly as the time for launching my website is fast approaching. I already own my domain name (pauljhogan.co.uk) and have started to assemble a basic style and frame work of how the website will look really to pass of to someone with design ability and less hatred for flash and dreamweaver, but i still question my choice of name...

My major problem is what to call myself. Domain names are inexpensive and whilst I now own one it does not yet bare any weight tot he decision I'm struggling to make. My birth name whilst not as common as John Smith, is shared my with a quite famous Australian actor.

From a very young age I became an expert in crocodile jokes and knife identification and whilst I don't mind my namesake's crocodile wrestling ability I am starting to find his domination of search engines a major hindrance. But am I making an Air's rock out of a Rugby brick? One of my tutors names is Paul Smith and I can tell you immediately he's not very good at designing coats and the thought of him on a Vespa scooter tickles me inside.

Building the Paul Hogan brand, or whatever name I go under is a very important issue. It will define me as a photographer and be a reflection of the trust and confidence I build up with potential and repeat clients. My business background understands what it means for a company to have a bad reputation and how quickly bad spreads compared to good. So media interfaces such as this blog and my website should be created to accurately reflect me and my work. Does this mean the end of 4am drunk Facebook updates? well... no. But it does mean I will be very careful on who can see my Facebook as that media outlet will stay personal, whilst twitter, the bloggersphere and whatever 'My-face' networking site becomes popular next will bare the brunt of my professional image.

Whatever decision I make in regards to my public name, I need to make it soon. My Flickr account has received a nice 3,277 views in the last 3 months. The sooner i can stick to one name, the sooner I can build a brand and monetise it. Student loans don't last forever.